Have you ever been on a great first date only to be turned down when you ask for a second? Granted, it could have been that the chemistry wasn’t right for her, or her ex-boyfriend called the next day wanting her back. But what if you did something, unknowingly, to turn her off? And more specifically, what if you unwittingly committed a fashion or grooming faux pas? I held counsel with some of my girlfriends and put together a list of tips and to-do’s for you gents. As my girlfriends put it, they want to love you, but if you show up on your date with any of the following issues, you’re making it hard for them.
According to my girlfriends, heavy cologne says that you are trying too hard or that you are trying to clear a room. It also might be an indication that you are stuck in a past generation and will insist on holding doors open (which they love), but also carrying all heavy objects and referring to their gender as “dames.” If for some reason it brings you great joy to wear cologne or makes you feel sexier, then go for it. But be advised that just a dab will do ya.
2. Unkept eyebrow, ear and nose hair
There’s nothing un-masculine about tending to your eyebrow hair. In fact, if you have the very manly goal of getting a second date, it is recommended that you embrace eyebrow maintenance as a natural part of being a dude. Bushy, long (especially to the point of curling) or grown-together eyebrows require immediate care by a spa professional, or at least a good female friend. The key is to not over-trim.
The same attention goes for visible ear and nose hair. It might be wise to pick up one of those nifty multi-purpose nose and ear hair trimmers then use it. You can find them at you local drug store or on-line.
3. Pants too short
The issue of trousers being too short seems to perplex my lady friends the most. There you are, with your pants on in public (good work) and your stud-ly features glowing like homing beacons, but the distance between the bottom of your pants and the top of your shoes glares out like an unsightly pimple on the tip of your nose. This is not to be confused with a skinny jean or pant that is deliberately short for fashion reasons. So unless you’re rockin' a super-trendy look, your pants should have a slight break on the top of your shoes.
4. Pants riding high
It's only natural to gain some weight in your mid-section at some point in one's life. My insightful gal-pals advise you to look at your backside too. Denial about your increased waist size is working against you. Embrace the new pant size that you require. If the middle back of your pants is riding up between your bum-cheeks, that’s "freakin’ unsexy," as they put it. Women want your pants to fit and flatter your body. Show them your buns by having a little hug across them. But do avoid the “turkey trot” look that makes everyone around you cringe and think, “wow, that must be uncomfortable.”
Fun, short-sleeve button down shirts are great, but not when they are too big. Same goes for any variety of dress shirt or tee. Wearing shirts (and other clothes for that matter) that are much too big seems to be a fashion pandemic in the U.S. My panel of second date hungry females wants you to consider wearing shirts and other clothes that fit your body in a more flattering way. If you want to tuck your shirt in, then consider wearing a long-sleeved version and rolling up the sleeves. It's sexy. In order to have it work well, picking a shirt that tapers in at the waist is a good idea while blousy and billowy isn't.
6. In need of a neck trim
Being hairy is yet another marvelous side effect of higher testosterone levels and the girls are cool with it. That said, if the area between the hairline on the back of your neck and the top of your shirt looks "fuzzy” or "untended to," please trim it. You may have to do this more often than you get haircuts and if you don't have the time to visit your barber/stylist, you can easily do it yourself with an at home electric trimmer. You may have to have a friend help you, but it only takes a minute or two.
7. Too casual
This one is tough to nail down according to my girlfriends. There’s a huge grey area where sloppy can be chic or too neat can look too uptight. That said, they want to know that you took some time getting ready for your date – clean clothes that fit you well and without stains or wrinkles. Show your date that you care because it's a turn-on. So break out that iron and get busy!
8. Blue tooth permamnently in ear
Are all of your phone conversations urgent and important? Probably not. Please, do not wear your Bluetooth in your ear on a first date. Other than making you look like the Borg, it gives the impression that you aren't listening and that keeping your social and business life going at full speed is more important than getting to know the beautiful woman in front of you. Same goes for having a cell phone attached to your belt. This dork-tacular way to carry a cell phone is a turn-off. If you’re working the angles and trying to win female affection, put your phone in your pocket, your laptop bag or some other discreet place. If you’re already married with kids, that's a different story.